10 TYPES OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK by Alyssa Plaza

       Facebook started in 2004 and at that time, people used it occasionally. Eight years later, with almost a billion people on the website, I noticed that some people only used it for specific things and some of those things are practically annoying. I'm looking at you, you FarmVille fudgers.
       Anyway, I categorized these people to what I believed to be the 10 types of people on Facebook. And by the time you're done reading this I guarantee you that you'll find at least one of these types of people in your news feed.

1. The Creeper (A.K.A. The Lurker)
        We may also call these people stalkers! You know those people who never post anything, never like, never comment but they know everything you about you. You'll know who these people are because when you see them in real life and you bring up something you did recently, they'll say, "Oh yeah, I saw that you posted that on Facebook." It gets real awkward.

2.  Over-Poster (A.K.A. The Timeline Rapist)
        These are the people who would like you to know what they're doing every minute no matter ho trivial it is. 'Oh, just ate my morning oatmeal."POST. "Shower, work, gym." POST. "I just took a massive dump and I think I hurt myself." That's annoying. Nobody cares. STAHP.

3. The Status Hijacker
        Have you ever posted something on Facebook to find that the conversation's been completely taken over by somebody else? Either they take it over or they change the subject entirely. They're the same people that'll steal something funny that you posted on your timeline and put it on their own. And everybody knows they didn't come up with it because they're just not clever? I just want to see those and be like, "Hey you, that's what the share button's for!"

4. The Attention Seeker
        These are those people who post those cryptic one-line statuses. They'll post those one-liners like, "I CANT BELIEVE IT! or "EVERYTHING SUCKS RIGHT NOW D:<" And then they'll wait for people to fall for their trap and ask what happened. They never tell the rest of the story. They just let the comments and questions build up to feed their own Narcissism. I feel like those people should just be honest with us and be like, "I'm an attention whole? Like and comment on this post so I can feel better about myself!"

5. The Promoter
        We all have somebody like this in our friend list. He/she is that person who invites you to every single event under the Sun. It's usually somebody in the band who wants you to come to the 500 shows they're playing this week or maybe thy started a group and wants you to join the SAVE THE POLAR BEARS CLUB! And as if the first 20 invites weren't enough, they always send you one more just to be sure.

6. The Game Addict
        We all hate these people. These are the people who play games like FarmVille and flood your newsfeed with useless spam like, "I just planted a FUDGING TREE! Now I better mass send out requests so everyone can plant FUDGING TREES WITH ME!" I'm gonna want those people in with the same people who post their horoscopes all day like you care it's 'their year'.

7. The Preacher
        These are the people who post inspirational quotes or anything related to God, which is OK. Sometimes when we log into Facebook they can make us feel like we're in church.

8. The Drunk
        This one's a personal favorite of mine. These are those people who only post when they go out drinking with their friends and once they're hammered, they flood your newsfeed with drunken statuses and pictures. The most funny thing about these people is if you watch their status the next day, you'll see their statuses from last night before magically disappear one by one. Because you just know they're sitting there with a hangover going, "Delett...Dilittt..."

9. The Anti-Proof Reader
        This is that person who spells so badly on all their statuses that you wonder how they got through Grade School. Punctuation is either misused or non-existent with these people. What blows my mind about these guys is that they often use their cell phones to post on Facebook.... and you have spell-check on that thing so how do you still make mistakes?

10. The Whiner/Drama Queen
        Oh yes. We all know one of these. Every single post with these people is about how life sucks or how it sucks to be them. They find negativity in everything! These people need to understand that Facebook is not their personal therapist. I decided that from now on I'm going to track all the time that I spend reading these people's posts and build them for my time at the end of the week.